Built to cry…
The grief that accompanies the loss of a beloved companion animal is profound and the pain of that loss can be felt emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Grief is a grueling physical experience and shedding tears is one of the ways our body supports us in processing and healing from loss.
Sadness and grief are the emotions that help us with loss. When a significant loss is sustained there is a buildup of emotion that, if we allow it, is expressed physically through crying. That release often helps us “process” the experience we are facing and among other things, can help us to recover some mental balance.
Scientific research supports the belief that crying is good for our health. Generally, it is agreed that there is a buildup of toxic stress hormones that are released into our bodies prior to crying. Stress hormones negatively affect virtually every system in our bodies. We know that tears contain these hormones and help to cleanse our bodies of them. Thus, crying is a natural and essential biological function that results in the elimination of stress hormones associated with stress-related health problems. Crying relieves stress, lowers blood pressure, removes toxic stress hormones, and also helps to remove manganese, a mineral which is responsible for negative effects on mood.
Neuroscientist and tear researcher, Dr. William H. Frey explains that, “crying is not only a human response to sorrow, it’s a healthy one. Crying is a natural way to reduce emotional stress that, left unchecked, has negative effects on the body, including increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and other stress related disorders”.
The “water” in you…
The human body is 60% water and our blood is 83% water. Metaphorically speaking, it may be useful to think of the water in our body as our “body of water” and in that way consider its function, the ways it flows, or is dammed. When we experience a shock to our system, such as the death of a loved one, we become tense. Stress hormones build up in our bodies and we may even get a lump in our throat. All of these create a sense of blockage – damming our energy and waters. Tears restore flow, allowing our water and energy to move freely – opening our waterways, connecting us to our healing waters…. cleansing us.
In her book, The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying To Tell You, Karla McLaren explains that, “many of us, because we’ve had such poor socialization around sadness, think that sadness is only about loss, it’s not. Sadness is also about restoring flow, ease, and relaxation…. Because when you finally let go of things that just don’t work, you’ll suddenly have room for things that do.” McLaren says that the questions to ask of sadness are, “What must be released? And what must be rejuvenated?
In the case of grief and its accompanying sadness, we do not have a choice about whether or not to let our loved one go, their life has come to a close. Sadness and tears help us with the very difficult task of letting go of the things that can no longer be held on to, restoring the flow of our “healing waters”, and creating space for us to move into what comes next.
– Written by Lisa Havelin MA, MFA, LMFT © Copyright 2011 Lisa Havelin and MN Pets LLC
